Toward Healing

I, like most Black people, am tired. Tired of seeing my dad struggle to find a job because he has a criminal record. Tired of seeing my mom in pain because she can’t always afford the medication she needs. Tired of seeing my siblings falling behind on bills because rent prices take up most of their income. Tired of seeing my brothers constantly stopped and searched by police when driving to and from work. Tired of seeing the intentional disinvestment in our communities and the narrative painting poor Black and brown folks as inherently criminal. Most of all, I’m tired of seeing those in positions of power continue to underreact to our collective struggles--convincing us that these struggles are a result of our own shortcomings instead of white supremacy, capitalism, and patriarchy embedded in our institutions and social fabric. In the words of Solange, “I got a lot to be mad about.” 

In my organizing, I share these stories and hear about similar frustrations from people of all backgrounds. It’s easy to rally folks around our collective suffering, moving from a place of shame to a place of anger to a place of action. But there is an emotional toll this takes on us in the long term when we act only out of anger. 

I was recently challenged to think about how we can center our collective healing and joy in our movement building. It requires us to get in the practice of collective, community care, going beyond self-care.  I am excited to be dreaming about what that looks like. In honor of Black History Month, I’d like to share some lessons I’ve learned from Black leaders that have given me hope and inspiration.

Audre Lorde - “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."

Realizing that self-care is not just necessary for mental and physical well-being but also a political act was a beautiful moment for me. None of us are meant to thrive, some of us are not even meant to survive, in a society built on white supremacy and capitalism. Taking time to check in with and take care of yourself is not something most people prioritize, but it’s the foundation for the healing work that is so necessary for ourselves, those we are in relationship with, and the communities we are part of. Self-care can mean not answering your phone or unplugging from social media for 24-hours, taking a walk outside, eating decadent foods, setting boundaries in your work or personal relationships. Start by identifying how you feel, what your need, and work towards fulfilling that need. 

James Baldwin - "It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here."

 I am a queer Black woman. There was a lot of anti-Blackness and homophobia I had to unlearn on my journey to self-love. We’ve all been socialized to value certain bodies and to believe center “truths” about ourselves and others--distinguishing the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, the desirable from the undesirable. Realizing that there is no one way to be or to partner made it clear just how much I’d internalized the values of white supremacy and patriarchy. I owed it to myself to decolonize my mind. We all have a right to exist as our authentic selves and we all deserve to have systems in place that support us and give us room to thrive. 

Assata Shakur - "I don't have to live up to that Superwoman myth. I can cry and be human and lean on people who take care of me. That can be very liberating." 

Crying is a natural and necessary part of the human experience. We are socialized into gender roles that require women and girls to cater to the needs of men and boys, having little agency over our bodies and our emotional and reproductive labor. Black womxn are expected to sacrifice our own well-being to meet these expectations and protect Black men from white supremacy. On the other side of things, Black men have been portrayed as hyper-masculine and inherently violent. Men in general are taught that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, that every action they take and how they present themselves must somehow proves their dominance and manhood. This leads to a culture where men hurt womxn in ways womxn can’t hurt them, where people are rejected for and feel shame when asking for support. We would all benefit from being honest with each other about our feelings and the support we need. And more men should get in the habit of taking on the role of caretaker so the womxn around them get a break from that emotional labor.

bell hooks - "[O]ne of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone."

We are socialized to feel shame when we don’t meet certain expectations or roles. Experiencing trauma also produces feelings of shame. And that shame can push most of us into silence and isolation, causing feelings of powerlessness. There are so many of us who suffer in silence, blaming ourselves for things that weren’t our fault and even normalizing our suffering. I’ve witnessed the power in sharing the stories of our oppression, finding connection with others that have similar experiences, and feeling the unlimited potential we as individuals part of a broader collectively have. Don’t shy away from building community, lean into it. Find ways to support each other and take back power from those who only care about maintaining the status quo, systems of division and exclusion. 

Alice Walker - "People who work hard often work too hard. ... May we learn to honor the hammock, the siesta, the nap and the pause in all its forms."

Because most people I know are facing financial instability, everyone works a lot and is always looking to turn a hobby into a profit-making pastime. As organizers, I feel like it’s easier to overwork ourselves because we feel the importance, and urgency, of the work we’re doing. We struggle with burnout constantly. How do we win if we don’t give ourselves space to rest and restore ourselves back to our full capacities? Beyond reckoning with this question, let’s remember that every single one of us has value no matter what change we bring into this world or what we produce in our lifetime. 

Alice Walker - "Healing begins where the wound was made."

The word radical literally means getting to the root or the fundamental nature of something. Organizing has taught me that we cannot transform harm if we don’t get clear on the direct source of the harm and work towards changing the conditions that made the harm possible. Healing work must also begin at the root. 

Toni Morrison - “You wanna fly, you got to give up the thing that weighs you down.”

This is easier said than done. The reality is racial capitalism isn't gonna disappear overnight, so the ongoing struggle against structural oppression will continue. The goal should be to figure out what you need to experience more love and joy as we fight for collective liberation. When there are many racist theories about the struggles of Black folks and commentary about the violence and cultural norms in our communities, finding joy in being Black is so important. Black Girl Magic is real! Black Boy Joy is important! The resilience and laughter within the Black community is awe-inspiring and essential to our physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual well-being. 

Healing justice has been in the hearts and minds of Reclaim’s leadership. It brings me so much joy to be part of an organization that is pushing every one of its members to rethink how we relate to and each other. The natural next step is to be intentional about how we integrate trauma-informed practice in all areas of our work and relationship building. Stay tuned for upcoming trainings/events and a detailed plan for incorporating Political Healers work into the culture and work of our organization!